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contractions of the stomach, also known as false defocatory alarms or practice-poo contractions are sporadic intenstinal contractions that usually start around T-minus 10 minutes but not resulting in any ejection of chocolate logs. Not experienced once the turtles head is peeping out, or if Mr Hankey is in the departure lounge, boarding pass and passport in hand.
'ere Kayleigh - just been to the bog again - thought I needed a dump but it was only another bleedin Braxton shits ffs :(
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Like when a pregnant women had "fake" " braxton hicks" contractions near her due date. Braxton shits is the cramps you get When the turd is on its way
Mate!! Why you stopped?? We gonna miss the bus!!!
"Braxton shits mate"
*stands upright, clenching buttocks for a min*
"Done! Let's go!!"