Rural Dictionary

Breakfast of Champions

Breakfast of Champions is the daily morning ritual of having a few smokes and a couple cups of coffee getting your am fix of nicotine and caffeine. Then take a massive dumps on the porcelain throne, take a quick shower and ready to face your day properly.

Need my Breakfast of Champions to wake up and get my bowels moving so I can get out the door to earn my bacon.

by EightBall July 30, 2018

160👍 19👎

Breakfast of Champions

(1) The trademarked slogan for the General Mills breakfast cereal "Wheaties", a product that has been marketed since 1924.

(2) The title of Kurt Vonnegut's 1973 novel "Breakfast of Champions, or Goodbye Blue Monday".

(3) A ironically humorous expression that is used to indicate a food or beverage that isn't very good for you.

EXAMPLE of senses (1) and (2) :

' The expression "Breakfast of Champions" is a registered trademark of General Mills, Inc., for use on a breakfast cereal product. The use of the identical expression as the title for this book is not intended to indicate an association with or sponsorship by General Mills, nor is it intended to disparage their fine products.'

-- Kurt Vonnegut, being ironical on page 1 of the Preface to his 1973 novel "Breakfast of Champions", a tongue-in-cheek admonition he repeats verbatim in Chapter 18 (on page 195).

EXAMPLE of sense (3):

' I now had Bonnie MacMahon, bring more yeast excrement to . . . Karabekian. Karabekian's drink was a Beefeater's dry martini with a twist of lemon peel, so Bonnie said to him, "Breakfast of Champions."

' "That's what you said when you brought me my first martini," said Karabekian.

' "I say that every time I give anybody a martini," said Bonnie.

' Doesn't that get tiresome?" said Karabekian. "Or maybe that's why people found cities in Godforsaken places like this -- so that they can make the same jokes over and over again, until the Bright Angel of Death stops their mouths with ashes."

' "I just try to cheer people up," said Bonnie. "If that's a crime, I never heard about it till now. I'll stop saying it from now on. I beg your pardon. I did not mean to give offense." '

-- From Kurt Vonnegut's 1973 novel "Breakfast of Champions", Chapter 19 (pages 208 - 211).

by Dinkum July 30, 2013

32👍 3👎

Breakfast of Champions

Cold pizza and beer left over from the night before. May or may not include a cigarette.

After the party, I had no cash for a real breakfast. I had to eat the Breakfast of Champions and hope it would hold me until I could hit up an ATM.

by AnonPa December 6, 2013

15👍 1👎

Breakfast of Champions

A breakfast that your mom probobly wouldn't serve you. The average BoC (Breakfast of Champions) consists of things that do not require cooking and are consequently very popular with single men. Most BoCs are made up of any combination of the following:
Alcohol (often cheap beer)
tobacco (ussually cigarettes)
pop tarts (not toasted)
cereal-minus the milk (unless the milk is chunky)
caffine (usually coffee, Mt Dew or cola)
asprin
Some of the better BoCs may also include oral sex from (and sometimes given to)a girlfriend or one night stand.

Note: Some BoCs are cooked, but not by man enjoying the meal. The most common sources of the cooked BoC are resturaunts like the Waffle House, IHOP, Denny's and the local diner type establishment. These must include pancakes, hash browns, ketchup, biscuits and gravy, ketchup, hot sauce and/or lots of butter and grease.

My Breakfast of Champions began with a Mt Dew. Then I went to Jungle Jim's Cafe for a cooked BoC. I got a 6 biscuit order of biscuits and gravy, some hash browns, a bottle of ketchup, a shortstack of pancakes, a half pound of butter and enough Frank's Redhot to down a horse.

I had the cooked BoC because the morning before, I just had cold poptarts and some old milk.

by northendwhitetrash November 1, 2008

194👍 75👎