Breathin' Piper No Wiper

A poop log that has been launched deep into the pipe, but is so long that the other end sticks out the top of the toilet pool, as if it was breathing. Additionally, it leaves behind no residue for the pooper to wipe.

"Ma'am, I'm going to need to use your poop knife; we've got a breathin' piper no wiper situation in there."