Brown Baptism

when someone gets dunked into a bucket of shit, specifically diarrhea.

guy 1: why wasnt judy at school today?
guy 2: jack gave her a brown baptism and now shes in the hospital and smells like shit
guy 1: haha, dumbass!

Brown Butter Baptism

When due either to sheer size or the unfortunate effects of age related gravitational force, a man's privates take a "dip in the pool" during the course of a seated session on the toilet. The Brown Butter Baptism can occur during the act of dropping the steamer, or as a result of the swirling effects of a courtesy flush. The BBB is particularly undesirable when loose bowels are a factor, such as in colonoscopy prep.

Wow, that brown butter baptism really burns. I should never have eaten that burrito.

Somebody needs to invent a crapper nut sling so I don't take a brown butter baptism every time I go #2!