Buckingham Clench

When you feel as if you are about to break wind and just as you begin to attempt to pass it, you feel a sudden moist feeling on the edge of your butt cheeks. At this point you come to realize this may not be what you first thought it was and not wanting to turn the back of your legs into a chocolate waterfall, You snap at attention. Immediately clenching your buttcheeks tightly together to avoid any spillage and keeping a firm rigid stance, like a Buckingham Guard. With a cold sweat beginning to form and the feeling of a sharp stabbing sensation in your lower abdomen, you must continue to stay in this position until the pain subsides and you can get to a toilet.

1. As I started to pass gas, I felt a moist sensation and immediately snapped into a Buckingham Clench.
2. As I snapped into a Buckingham Clench, it was quite obvious that this was no laughing matter and despite onlookers gawking and poking and prodding at me, I knew I could not unclench or I would soil myself.
3. Not wanting to crap my pants, I immediately bore the Buckingham Clench in an attempt to hold it all in.

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