Butthole dreads

Hair around your butthole that catches remnants when wiping. It then knots up and mats into a greasy dreadlock of a mess.

Ouch! My butthole dreads look super cool,but living on the streets has a few dreadful pains in the ass though,lol. I'm thinking about shedding these bottom dwellers. Didn't Weiner dogs hunt rats in the past? Do You think your dog , chomper, can help me? j.k Ugh!I'll call my mom again.