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what every other branch calls the air force
man why didnt i join the chair force?
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A military force of men who specialize in fields that involve sitting on chairs strategically.
CHAIR FORCE: THE ARMY THAT SITS
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A funny descriptor for the United States Air Force. Contrary to what some other douchebags think, the Air Force is usually first into the country, dropping bombs to take out strategic targets like communications and radar. Sure, some of us sit behind a desk, but we are part of the mission to support the planes. Planes like the F-22, the most advanced fighter in the world. Capable of shooting down half a dozen F/A-18s without ever being detected on radar. Or the SR-71, the world record holder for the fastest aircraft on earth. Or, the A-10 warthog, a plane designed to hunt and kill tanks. And we can't forget the B-2, an aircraft that has a 179 foot wing span and can carry 50,000 lbs of payload weighing a full 171 tons that has a radar cross-section of a humming bird. Airmen have it good because the Air Force spends way more money on quality of life for its people than any other service. As a result they have a much higher retention rate and troop morale. All of the services in the military have their strengths, the Air force rules the skys, and we have yet to be challenged.
Chair Force
Of all the Services, the Air Force has the most intelligent enlisted people. This is not just theory; it's provable fact.
Take the Army. When the stuff hits the fan, the young Army private wakes up to the bellowing of his First Sergeant. He grabs his BDUs out of his foot locker, dresses, runs to the chow-hall for breakfast on the fly, then jumps in his tank. Pretty soon, the company commander, a captain, arrives, gives him a big salute, and says, "Give 'em Hell, soldier!"
Now take the Navy. When the stuff hits the fan, the young Sailor is eating breakfast in the mess. He hustles the 20 feet to his battle station, stuffing extra pastries in his pocket as he goes. There he sits, in the middle of a big, steel target, with nowhere to run, when the Captain comes on the 1MC and says, "Give 'em Hell, Sailors! I salute you!"
Now take the Marines. When the stuff hits the fan, the young Marine is kicked out of bed by his First Sergeant and puts on the muddy set of BDUs he was wearing on the field exercise he was part of three hours earlier. He gets no breakfast, but is told to feel free to chew on his boots. He runs out and forms up with his rifle. Pretty soon, his company commander, a captain, comes out, gives the Marine a sharp salute, and says, "Give 'em Hell, Marine!"
And then there's the Air Force. When the stuff hits the fan, the Airman receives a phone call at his off-base quarters. He gets up, showers,shaves, and puts on the fresh uniform he picked up from the BX cleaners the day before. He jumps in his car and cruises through the McDonalds drive-thru for an Egg McMuffin and Coca-Cola on his way into work. Once at work, he signs in on the duty roster. He proceeds to his F-15, spends 30 minutes pre-flighting it, and signs off the forms. Pretty soon the pilot, a young captain arrives, straps into the jet, and starts the engines. Our young Airman stands at attention, gives the aviator a sharp salute, and says, "Give 'em Hell, Captain!"
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The most important part of the Airforce. Where the planning goes on. Where decisions are made.
Before the Airforce can do their work, the Chair Force tells them what to do.
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noun: 1. Most commonly used as a degrading or deragatory term for the united states's red-headed step child branch of the military.
2. The idea that the unites states air force does nothing in defense of this great nation, but sit behind a desk, normally on a chair or broomstick, and push paper. They may have one or two missions: refuel the people really doing the work; navy/marine corps jets, or drop a nuclear weapon, however the country would never relay on USAF for this, they are morel likely to call upon a navy ballistic missile submarine to do the job.
Navy and AF General Discussing Plans:
Navy: We can launch off the USS Enterprise and hit targets A-Y.
AF: We will launch from our new base in iraq and hit target Z.
Navy: You can't launch from there, the air strip hasn't been built yet. Says here (looks at construction report) that the golf course was finished yesterday, air strip will be done in about a week. Fuckin' chair force!
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This is a derisive term the army uses to mock the USAF for generally having less mandatory physical training or PT.
The U.S. Chair Force only has a 2 mile run!