Cake Dodger

One whom through sheer cheap-skatery denies his colleague the satisfaction of his or her OBLIGATORY birthday work cake.

A cake dodger will likely employ diversionary tactics such as changing the topic, Oh-shit-I-didn't-have-time excuses, monetary/financial excuses and the famous "Hey look behind you... No really there's someone behind you!" manoeuvre.

Also known as the lowest common denominator of human existence, a cake dodger should be met with nothing less than deeply seeded contempt and scorn.

Leo: Hey mate, is the report ready to ?
James: Shut up Cake Dodger!

bourbons, jaffa cakes and jammy dodgers

possibly the best biscuits in the world. ever.
They own you. AND your mum.
it's impossible to eat them like you would eat a mere cookie.
this is because cookies are inferior.

"hmm, what should we get."
"BOURBONS, FTW."
"no, jaffa cakes, derkhead."
"WHERE ARE MY JAMMY DODGERS, BITCHES."

a real conversation.
as you can see, bourbons, jaffa cakes and jammy dodgers own.

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