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A sex act performed often by members of Canada's high society in which maple syrup is poured generously onto the crotch of the willing female, who then mounts the face of a moose by holding onto its antlers. The Moose encouraged by the presence of the sweet syrup performs cunnilingus on the woman while the Stanley Cup is positioned below to collect the drippings. Once a sufficient volume is collected the willing male participant dips his erect phallus into the cup prior to insertion into the Moose's anus (preferably before the Moose has slurped up all the syrup). Depending upon the size of the phallus inserted into the Moose, one of two results will occur:
(1) the Moose will become agitated to some degree of insanity and attempt to buck off both the man and woman. At this point, if the couple lasts at least 8 seconds and both reach the point of orgasm, they win the Stanley Cup. This is referred to as the "Two Canucks, One Cup" Rodeo.
(2) the Moose will become aroused, and will proceed to insert itself into the female. If the female is unwilling, a suitable midget replacement will suffice.
Oh, snap! Did you see Steven Colbert and Sarah Palin do Canada's History to Bullwinkle while Rocky watched?
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The most depraved sexual act known to mankind kept as a hidden secret from Canada to preserve its' innocence. In detail, the ******** are inserted into ******* using the ******* with ******** moose antlers ****** **** ***** maple syrup **** ***** around five times ***** *** ******* until the **** ***** affectionately called "the Mounties" use **** ***** all over the ****. The resulting **** ***** *** ****** are then used as lubricant for ******** **** **** into ****** **** **** with ***** **** **** Stanley Cup.
I can't believe we just did Canada's History.
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a sexual act designed to tell a story through symbolic devices: specifically in this case, that story is the history of Canada. As an element of foreplay, the man pours some maple syrup on the woman's body, and licks it off of her abdomen, breasts, nipples, and vulva in that respective order. In honor of Samuel De Champlain's voyage by canoe through Lake Nipissing, the man rubs is penis lengthwise along the woman's vulva, and she bears down hard to spray his genitals with her urine. Then the man and woman perform oral sex on each other, burying their faces in each other's pubic hair, representing the fur trade. The man has intercourse with the woman doggy style, while slapping her buttocks vigorously, representing the French and Indian Wars. He also fists the woman's vagina; however she subsequently fists the man's anus; this exchange represents the War of 1812. After this point in history, Canada is known mostly for participatory, but not pivotal roles in world affairs. Therefore, any combination of missionary position and fingering are used to bring the woman to orgasm, representing the post-WWII prosperity of the country. Finally, the man ejaculates all over the woman's face, representing the sovereignty of Quebec.
Wife: I just feel like there isn't any excitement in our sex life, eh.
Husband: I think it's that we just don't have enough energy after all our other responsibilities, eh, the kids, work.
Marriage Counselor: Like I haven't heard that a trillion fucking times, eh!! You two should learn Canada's History like any responsible citizens would! Now get the fuck out and fuck!!!
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The sexual act in which you pour maple syrup into a cup half way. You then collect moose leavings and put it into the Stanly Cup. Saw off moose antlers from either a live moose or a wall mounted moose head, you mix the syrup and moose scat with one antler. With the other you are to have a female or male partner and you spank the person with the antler. With the cup you pour the syrup/moose scat over the person. As you do, you are to sing the canadian anthem. After the cup is empty the person covered in the stuff is to vomit into the cup, and you are to jack off into it and mix this with the first antler. This you are to pour over you while naming Canada's provenses. After you have poured the vomit/cum over you, you and the partner is to fist eachother's asses at the same time, and saying "eh?" over and over.
1.The most vial and distrubing sexual act I have ever heared of is called Canada's History
2.My girlfriend Canada's history-ed me last night, I didnt know she was so disturbing....and hot
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The sexual act of covering moose antlers with maple syrup leaving it out overnight and sticking the bug covered antlers into as many orifices as possible while your partner beats you over the head with the Stanly Cup. Then using the resulting blood and semen to draw a portrait of Queen Elizabeth ii all while listning to Rush or Bryan Adams
Bill: I met a hot girl from Toronto last night
Steve: Did you do Canada's History with her
Bill: Yeah do you want to see the queen portrait
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The 'Canada's History' is an extremely vile, yet strangely satisfying, sex act that originated in the Moose Jaw, SK, General Hospital Psychiatric ward in 1987. It is now practiced throughout Canada, especially in the cold parts, by children, adults, and seniors alike. The act itself involves the male genitalia being dipped in maple syrup before being made to negotiate a pair of Moose antlers which have been strapped to the female's groin area. Male beginners at this move may choose to wear a protective sports cup on the their groin while practicing this skill with their friends--this is often referred to on the schoolyards of Canada as the "Stanley Cup". Regional differences do exist in regards to the 'Canada's History' however. In maritime Canada and northern Quebec, where human-looking and smelling females have long since become extinct, the use of a seal instead of a human female is accepted. While the normal version of the "Canada's History" is culminated by both parties needlessly apologizing to each other, the Maritime/N. Quebec version ends with the clubbing of the aforementioned seal.
"I wonder if mom and dad know we can hear them doing the Canada's History"
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Is when you put a miniature #99 Wayne Gretzky jersey on your cock, then pull your foreskin over another dude's circumsized penis which has a miniature #66 Mario Lemieux jersey on and dock with him; while being watched by a Sasquatch, Brian Mulroney, and the Blue Nose.
"Hey remember on July 1st when those two guys showed us Canada's History."
"Those two dudes aren't gay they just like Canada's History."
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