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if your in this location during a hurricane. Your completely fucked.
Dude, hurricane irma is going to fuck cape coral out of a window like a bad porno.
1. A place where every old person in America comes to die.
2. Also known as Cape Coma after a song called "Escape From Cape Coma" by the now broken up band Twisted Method. Named for how incredibly boring it is.
3. Where, for some completely insane reason, tourists like to come. No one's really sure why because, well, see number 2.
4. Where scene kids live. You see them everywhere, especially at Marquee Cinemas on a Friday night. And you can't forget about the 13 year old sluts/cocaine addicts! Because of the extreme amount of scene kids, there is tons of drama.
1. Old guy: "Honey, why did we move here again?" Old lady: "It's the perfect place to die."
2. Cape resident 1: "What are we doing this weekend?" Cape resident 2: "Absolutely nothing. We live in Cape Coma, dumbass.
3. Tourist 1: Let's go to Cape Coral on vacation! It's soooo nice there." Tourist 2: "It sure is! Let's go to Sun Splash, that will be a blast!" Tourist 3: "This is going to be the best vacation ever!" Cape resident: *Gags*
4. Scene kid 1: "Hey lets go to the movies tonight, and then after we can do some cocaine to keep us so incredibly skinny." Scene kid 2: "Yeah, I have to dye my hair black for the 2839479823th time this year, so you guys can help me." Scene kid 2: "I have to get 8 more piercings to be a hXc scene kid, so I can't go. I'll tell my little sister to go, she's really easy and does cocaine, and she's the most hXc scene kid in her middle school."
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Where all the girls are sluts, no matter the age, and everyone's a "thug" who is "from" Boston, New York, Jersey, or Chicago, and since they are "from" up north they are automatically a "gangsta" and can shot your ass.
Also a good place for anyone over the age of seventy to retire. The young whipper-snappers here wont bother you at all. They are all talk I promise. Your house is safe, just make sure to hide your weed stash.
Stupid Cape Coral Kid: "Yo dawg you best not mess with me. I'm from Boston and I can shot your ass."
Cape Coral Kid 2: "Oh really? Cause I'm from Boston too and I can't do shit."
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Snowbird City ... Legit everyone there is 55+
Chris - Bruh wanna go to Cape Coral for vacation
Tony- Nah everyone there is old and mean. They don’t even know how to drive
A place where all younger people complain about how horrible it is but make no attempt to make it better.
Girl 1: I hate how boring it is here in Cape Coral.
Guy 1: Yeah, me too. I wish I was back in New York or Boston because thats where my parents are from so that means im from there.
Sensible Teenager: Why don't you two try and make it better by writing to your local government or signing a petition or doing something productive?
Guy and Girl 1: What?
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The place Cape coral is known for is Drama, scene kids (full of scene kids), Camelot sluts!, drug junkies, cocaine addicts, full of POT HEADS!! most grow houses are in Cape Coral...
Ida S. Baker kids are all full of themselves
Mariner high school kids are all beners
Cape Coral High School kids-ALL POSERS!!!
most old people live here.
we have a lot of snow birds that come here in the winter.
most teens that live here hate it so damn much and can't wiat to leave when their 18.
13-14 year olds try to be cool, but arn't
kids try so hard to impress others they don't even know who they are in the end.
it's pretty sad.. so if i were you
NEVER COME TO CAPE CORAL!!!!
broing city of cape coral
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1. The place where every old person in America comes to die.
2. The 5th largest city in Florida, although you cant tell, because nobody, except its residents, knows it even exists.
3. A place where every scene kid in America seems to live, and for fun activities, well you can find some of the "local scene beans" behind the mcdonalds at camalot snorting cocaine, and other various illegal substances.
4.A place that has nothing to do, except for marquee cinemas, and sun splash.
5. A drama filled city, mostly because of all the scene kids, so if your life is boring, become scene.
Very Old Person 1: Hey honey, where do you want to move?
Very Old Person 2: Lets move to Cape Coral, seeing as were going to die soon anyways!
Normal Kid 1: What do you want to do tonight?
Normal Kid 2: Lets go somewhere fun!
Normal Kid 3: How about Maruee Cinemas, or Sun Splash!
Normal Kid 1: But Maruee Cinemas is filled with SCENE KIDS!
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