Captain Gankaroo

Friend to friend, " My husband's nickname is Captain Gankaroo..."

Other friend, " Do what? (Laughing)"

Friend, " Yeah my husband beats off all the time with/on anything... plastic bags, dirty clothes, you name it, so I call him Captain Gankaroo because he ganks everything"

(I walk in catching my husband beating off using a plastic bag), "Well hello Captain Gankaroo".