captain sarcasm

The arch-enemy of Captain Obvious, because unlike him, Captain Sarcasm just answers a stupid question with a rather crude or not sarcastic way. Or just simply states facts in a sarcastic way.

Stupid guy: "If I get bitten by a venomous spider, will I die?"
Captain Sarcasm: "No, you'll become Spider-Man."

Stupid guy: "How will my post card be delivered to my mom "by sea"?"
Cap. Sarcasm: "Swimming, obviously".

Stupid guy: "Do you need to use the bathroom?"
Cap. Sarcasm: *holding his crotch* "No, I need to go to the library and read a book".