charity shaming

Charity shaming

transitive verb
1. To coerce, force, pressure or intimidate another person to donate to a non-profit cause/organization that one has personally deemed worthy by 1) declaring (usu. via some social media outlet – e.g. Pinterest, Twitter, Instagram, Google+, Snapchat, etc.) that one has donated to said cause and then 2) challenging the other person to meet and/or surpass the donation.

2. To make an ultimatum (under the guise of harmless competition) with the intent to intimidate another person into giving aid to a cause of the intimidator’s choosing.

3. To compel someone else to participate in asshatery (parading as philanthropy), without regard to either the other person’s individual wishes/desires or knowledge of the other person’s pre-existing philanthropic history.

4. To continuously, obnoxiously solicit a charitable donation from someone who has already politely declined by 1) lowering the requested amount (southern-Cali-swap-meet-Turkish-bazaar style) and/or 2) emphatically re-(and re-, and re-)emphasizing that it’s for good cause.

1. Kevin: “I’m calling out Dave to take the ALS ice-bucket challenge…” Dumps ice water over head…vagal response causes breathing/ heartbeat to stop…passes out…slams head on floor

Dave: “Um, yeah. Fuck the ‘ALS Challenge’. I’ve been giving to six charities of my own choosing every year for over a decade and I don’t announce it to the world or dare people to do the same on Facebook. It’s not your fucking business what or how much I donate or to who or whether I even donate at all. ‘Calling me out’ won’t change my mind. Keep the charity shaming bullshit to yourself.”

*Kevin never actually sent any money to the ALS Foundation, has no clue what ALS is, doesn’t care and will never mention it again in his life – he just wanted to get in on the “fun”…

2. Caller: “Hey thar, dis is George wit' da Eternal Brotherhood of Kul County Po-leese an’ we doin’ our anyool fund drive for da famlies o’dos slain in da line o'duty. Wud ya be willin to part wit $50 t’support dah poor widus an’ orfans dis year?”

James: “Um, no thanks. I’m on a budget and I’ve already given-”

Caller: “Yah? I unnerstan…well, how bout $35? You DO like orfans, right? I mean, you don’ sound like a child-hater t’me…”

James: “Um, no, I’m not. I just don’t have the funds–“

Caller: “Yeah, I know you said ur no child-hater an’ I can put cha down for $20 t’support the orfans of the cops who died fer YOU. It’d be comin’ in the mail.” ends call “Dis herre charity shamin’ sure is easy…”

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