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a british stereotype.
male chavs wear fake burberry (bought from sketchy market stalls), trainers, fake gold jewellry, and anything they can get from the sports soccer sale. they are seen with cigarettes, drugs and cheap alcohol(eg strongbow or tesco value lager). they also wear a massive tacky fake diamond in their ear.
chavettes wear massive hoop earrings, shitloads of foundation (the oranger the better), fake designer brands , fake uggs, fake tan, fake anything.
chavs live in council houses and will steal your bike.
make sure you don't make eye contact or they'll yell at you in your face, you wont understand what their saying though.
What do you call a chavette with two brain cells?
Pregnant
Chav a and chav b race off a cliff. Who wins?
Society
what should you do if you run over a chav?
Reverse to make sure
Why shouldn't you run over a chav on a bike?
it might be your bike
brrrrrrap braaaaap dat iz bare sik mannn ennit dooooo
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Stupid annoying arses, need to get a life, think they're superior to the human race, (female and male chavs) shag everything that moves, (male chav) hand always in their pants, (female chav) MUST get pregnant as soon as period starts, regardless of age,
walk with shoulders swinging, obssessed with brand names, play shitty whiny music very piss takingly loudly on buses, hang around Mcdonalds for a meal, talk like twats, look like twats, use cheap deodrant and tell mates "its prada i swear, blud!"
Fuck you, chavs, you killed Britain
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The male of the species, the 'chav', is often to be found lurking in braying packs close to fast food outlets or late night stores. It displays a distinctive livery with which it attempts to attract the female ('chavette') - most commonly, the Burberry-effect baseball cap (placed at a jaunty angle, sometimes partially covering the face - this is known in some cultures as 'snidey'); the 'sports' clothing (this is somewhat confusing as the chav is not renowned for its athletic abilities) and countless items of 'bling' (Chav patois meaning jewellery or other adornments). The origins of said 'bling' are various as the chav typically possesses neither a means of employment or indeed any type of education. Chavettes, meanwhile, tend to have hair in at least two colours, ill-fitting tops and white tracksuit tops (usually Kappa). Note their ornate 'love bites': tribal cicatrices around the neck, usually perpetrated by a near-toothless male known as Kev, Daz, Gaz, Baz, Tez or some other monosyllabic name.
Health and Education
Chavs can often be seen smoking - an activity which causes them to spit and cough, but only in public places (see above). They imbibe alcohol, normally in the form of cheap lager / cider normally obtained illegally. This often gives them the impression that they are 'hard' and they will thus attempt to start fights with anyone/thing smaller than them. However, upon retaliation of their prey they tend to run away.
Chavs are, believe it or not, to be found in education. Again, they tend to subsist in packs and can be seen braying and howling in the classroom, challenging even the most reasonable of requests to shut the hell up and let other people learn things. They tend to leave school before the age of sixteen, however, in order to pursue parenthood or a life of crime.
Transportation
The chavette is rarely seen driving a car. Instead, she is to be found holding up various bus passengers as she attempts to manoeuvre her outsized three-wheeled buggy onto a local bus service. She is usually en route to a supermarket or other place where she can swear at or smack her children publicly (this is the only form of discipline, usually to an extreme, ever displayed by chavs or chavettes towards their children and so it is required by law that it takes place wherever others may be gathered).
The chav can be found spending seemingly endless resources of money adding bodykits and neon striplights to his car (sometimes known as a 'chaviot'): this is normally a pre-1990 Ford Escort with 1100cc engine and XR3i stickers, a near-suicidal Vauxhall Nova (with plastic split-screen effect, or the occasional BMW coated in Hammerite. The real mystery about this is how the vehicle can move under the weight of the stereo system installed (badly) within. A large sticker usually adorns the rear (tinted) windscreen of the vehicle, proclaiming the brand of stereo equipment supposedly fitted inside. Loud, bassy music of indeterminate genre / origin will more often than not be emanating through the very loose tinted side windows.
Language
The typical Chav speaks a language which has yet to be named. It claims to have its roots in English, although this is in some doubt. Most Chav words are mercifully brief, and sentences tend to be punctuated with 'innit' or some sort of expletive. Only chavs can truly understand the language - the rest of us can only guess at the witty repartie and intellectual gems of conversation that may pass between them.
If you see a young male (aged 12-35) dressed like an elderly lady's shopping trolley, you have in all likelihood just witnessed a chav. In this situation, you are permitted by common consensus to find the nearest firearm and descend upon said chav with all force.
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A fucking discrace, where did they all come from, 30 years ago my town was cool, now it sucks. Grubby little houses and burnt out cars
looks like evolution cocked it again
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The lowest common denomenator of English society, equivalent to white trash for Americans although with many differences.
The word originates from the embittered attitude of people like myself from being perpetually asked "what yu lookin at?" by an individual dressed up like a cross between a gimp, JJB sports and 50 cent.
Chavs are renowned for their aggressive behaviour, amusing use of the english language, original sense of style and behaviour to society as a whole.
Chavs emerse themselves in a perverted form of a sub-culture: their main music tastes are in drum'n'bass and crap rap. The "female" chavs or Chavettes or Shaza's enjoy r'n'b. They have no apparant interest in literature (lol). In my view their most definitive and humorous attribute is their "use" of the English language, their favourite terms include, "brethren", "rude" and "brrap" (only for the hardcore Chav).
The term "chav" is the commercially utilised form of a notion that has been bouncing around England for years, the specific term being dependant upon location. Popular synonyms include: Pikies, Hood Rats, Kevs, Townies, Neds and many others. The universality of the term if useful in uniting this observation but regrettably depersonalises the word, and also has allowed those whose lives are unaffected by Chavs to pollute and alter the meaning of the term. Because of this it seems inevitable that the term will die out and become a trite cliche.
A chavs attitude to society is one principally shaped by amorality. A Chav feels no sense of "social responsibility" and therefore feels permiited to exploit the wellfare system, mug and beat up strangers. Although it as at this point that the term Chav is shed of its charming innocence and instead tainted with a viscious prejudice, one that assumes the entire populace of the working class consists of Chavs, this suggestion is both moronic and repugnant.
Therefore I believe in order to preserve the dignity and good humour of the term it should only be applied to an individual who firstly demonstrates violence, a true indication of being classless.
The second most substantial threat to the continuation of the term is from the media. The word was formulated through the frustration of adolescents such as myself at being attacked for absolutely no reason (except accidentally and temporarily gazing in the general direction of the individual). And not by some ageing arse-wank journalists trying to revive their long dead and fetid period of being young and cool.
(me and a chav):
"You lookin at me greeb twat?"
"What? How did you work that one out?"
(Punches me in face and I rest on the floor, a pool of blood collecting around me.)
"Fucking chavs"
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Average male chav stands around 2 foot 7 inches fully grown, Sporting 2/4 stripe adidas lookalike tracksuits ((rips included)), About a hundred million fake pieces of jewellery which they call their bling ((Might explain why they only grow to 2 foot 7, Too much weight)) The common chav when reaching the required driving age for chavs ((around 8 years old)) poleslide into the chav cave, and into their chavmobile or 'chaviot', Rev it about a billion times ((because they think it makes them hard and it also makes the chavettes wet)), Before hitting the nitros.. Well kicking in their AA batteries they must fit into these 'maxed out' Novas, Neons and bodykits and a paintjob that looks so dodgy it must have been made with 'paint by numbers - for chavs'Their driving skills about as impressive as the chavettes buggy pushing skills, Both hitting everything in sight. ((The average chavette falls pregnant around age 12)) After arriving at McDonalds ((only place chavs don't get asked for ID for being 2 foot 7)) They huddle in their crew and wait for the chance to look hard. When finally the unsuspecting 4 year old comes along licking his ice cream, The chav will jump up screaming 'wat ya lukin' at, wot?.. ya wan' beef!?' ((But if the 4 year old defended himself, The chavs would scatter, Some jumping into nearby bushes, Gardens, Dog Houses, Sewers and Push Chairs of the chavettes)) This is, Of course if they don't have a getaway chaviot nearby. You may say chavs are stupid... and you'd be right, The average chav drops out of school after learning the 2 times table, Most even before this as the work is too difficult ((9 out of 10 chavs think 2+2 is 7)) Lack of education forcing them to make their own language, Can be mistaken for English after a few pints. The chavs cap is like a Samurai's sword, It's like their soul, Slap their caps off and their powerless. Although their final defense is hair so short it'd give you a rash, The shock of this awful site usually giving them enough time to tuck their 4stripes into their socks and leg it back to their 7 time pregnant chavette back at their 1 room flat in the council block. ((Common chavette has hair pulled back so tight it pulls every single part of the face with it.. Pretty much making them look like the bug monster from MIB when he attempts to look like one)) For some unknown reason a chav will always have a bigger brother, Making me think they must all be inbred, Their father being their brother, So on and so forth.
~6 chavs outside McDonalds~
"Yo bruv, Dizzy new heights wot!?"
"Yea blood, Seen, Heard, Smelt"
"Seen.. Seen"
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The twats that walk around with some kind of strange limp as if their "hard" and could "kick the shit out of you". To non-chavs, the walk actually looks like the chavs have shit themseleves, they most likely have, when their 15 year old girlfreind(a chavette)tells them shes pregnant.
Chavs are the waste of space that no one likes, the teachers hate them adults hate them, grebs hate them, as do emos and goths. Many townies dont,this is because townies suck up to them so they dont have the piss taken.
Chavs can be found hanging around the streets at night smoking and rolling around on the floor pissed, they'll be in groups of 6-15 so they look "hard".
If a chav says anything to you, you most likely wont understand a word of it, this is because, since their not human they dont talk any word found in a normal dictionary (unless its swearing) they'll be the ones that talk in a strange barking fashion.
A compliment to a chav could include issuing them an ASBO, to them this proves they are a "hard",to normal people it proves they need mental help.
Chav: f*cking greb!
Greb: Wow your smart, next u can learn to count to ten.
Chav: I'll kick the shit out of u!
Greb: Go on then
Chav: *never hits the greb, walks off, muttering* F*cking grebs!
Greb: *shouts after the chav:* wow that really hurt!
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