choke factor

the rating given to the level of pressure on one's lower digestive system directly relating to the immediacy of relieving oneself. The level, or factor, is given in a rating of 1-5 with five being the highest pressure. Choke factor named in honor of Captain James T. Kirk of Star Trek as it relates to a warp factor.

Jose: Hey mang, that double jalapeno burrito supreme was right on.

Carlos: Si, but my gut is about to explode. pull the car over. I got a choke factor 5. I'm touchin cloth.

or

Kirk: Scotty, I need more power. The Klingons are almost in range.
Scotty: I'm givin er all she's got. But my ass is on fire. Me and sulu got hold of some bad sushi and I'm bad off. I'm backed up
Kirk: How bad is it?
Scotty: It's a choke factor 5 captain. I don't think I can take any mooooorrr
Kirk: get to sick bay
McCoy: Damn it Jim, I'm a doctor not a plumber.

18👍 2👎