Christ College

Fuck don’t get me started on these preppy cunts. If spending daddy’s money and wanking to lake wanaka and holiday homes was a school this would it. Their biggest flex is making the first 15 rugby team by paying the heads of staff, and fucking other elitist fake tan drenched private school girls from their local areas of Merivale and Fendalton. They don’t know how to put a sock in it, and I doubt they’ll ever learn since those clowns think so highly of themselves. Someone needs to knock them off their high polo pony before I rip my eyes out.

Person1: what school did u go to?
Clown college attendant: Christ college caturbury I’m extremely rich and my father is better than u I’m basically the draco malfoy of Christchurch......*proceeds to hit vape and be a cunt*

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Christ's College

A stuck up shithole in Christchurch where the relationship between the kids parents and the teachers are the determining factor in a student's success, not the kid's competence.

Retard: Shit, I didn't make the Christ's College 1st IV, instead I got put into the 'social' team.

Tool: Doesn't your dad own an influential business/insertothermoneymakingentity?

Retard: Oh yeah. I'll get him to make a call, I'll be 1st IV captain by Tuesday!

Tool: Sweet, lets go light some cigarettes in the botanz with $100 bills

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Christs College

Local ASBO factory located in Belfields, a suitable nuclear weapons testing site in Guildford, Surrey. Masquerading as local Secondary School, it churns out ASBO's by the day. It is wholly un-Christ-like in every way and have you noticed that if you rearrange the letters and remove the C and R you get SHITS COLLEGE?! Which is far better suited to a "school" with an iron curtain built round it. Which quite frankly should have been built to keep the ASBO's in rather than keep us out! Not that we'd ever wish to visit the establishment.

Local Guildfordian: What school do you go to?
ASBO: I go to Christs College.
Local Guildfordian: What are you studying?
ASBO: Armed Robbery with homecide studies.
Local Guildfordian: Thats nice.
ASBO: Give us your wallet or i'll stab you.

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