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When your cooler than the cooler kid with the Minecraft shirt
Wow your coolester then Jimmy!
When your cooler than the lid who has the Minecraft shirt
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Coolest kid could be anyone.
You wouldn’t know who.
LAME Kid1: Hey, who’s the coolest kid around here?
LAME Kid2: Only the one and only Coolkid89!
LAME Kid3: WOW! Their name even sounds cool!
Jessica the coolest is the third one in the group that had the big ass forehead and big ass sky scraper teeth.
Jessica the coolest
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Derives from Survival of the fittest by Charles Darwin, almost the same concept.
Think of your typical high school. An individual, or a group, eventually becomes the coolest shit in town. Once the spotlight is on them, the people who are uncool eventually dwindle and implode (or realistically...their genes die off and all the cool kids go to the summer of '69).
Person 1 and 2 get noticed more than person 3.
Person 3 becomes less noticed for the things that person 1 and 2 do (attention whoring...or just being themselves).
Person 1 and 2 eventually are the Survival Of The Coolest and person 3 does not reproduce and eventually his or her genes die off and are never seen in anyone else again.
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LARRY THE COOLEST! is ALWAYS the COOLEST! guy wherever he goes - as opposed to wussy non-Larry wussies (or is it pussies?) Once again just to clarify, LARRY THE COOLEST! IS ALWAYS THE COOLEST! AND HE DOES NOT PLAY MUCH BUT WHEN HE DOES, HE IS THE COOLEST! AND PLAYZ TO WINZ AND HE WINZ WHEN HE PLAYZ!!!
Please be sure to keep in mind that Larry the COOLEST! is the COOLEST! guy wherever he goes; especially compared to those tuna smelling non-Larry the COOLEST! posers who constantly emulate Larry the COOLEST! when he is acting the COOLEST! which is 24/7/365 and basically all of the time and space including when he is sleeping or ordering a #2 in the bathroom at McDonalds.
The bottom line is that it's to cool to even try to imagine being LARRY THE COOLEST!!!
I'm sure everyone in the world with a functioning brain agrees with this statement. GTG A-holez!!!
Footnote: There are some guyz named Larry who are not as cool as the True One and Only Larry the Coolest! (ME and MYSELF AND I AND THE 4 WALLS) bc there is only one of me. Got it?
If you are a guy and having a hard time with your friend Richard, feel free to contact Virgina Johnson for some sympathy. Ladies who feel tense, perhaps like they need a nice release or five to relax their pelvic area and rest of their body can contact Dick Johnson for assistance. Larry the COOLEST! told me to tell you that he made sure that everyone would leave this definition with a smile. GN, soon you in the morning. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Some days I just wonder how it would be to be Larry the COOLEST! OF THE COOL PUSSY MAGNETS! He gets ever girl, guy, disease and everything in between that he wants and doesn't want.
It's not easy bein' Larry the COOLEST!
Having to spend each day
The target of the ladies' droolings,
When I think it could be nicer
Bein' Dick or Peter or Putz
Or something much more uncircumcised like that,
It's not easy bein' Larry the COOLEST!
It seems you blend in
With so absolutely NO ordinary things
And people tend to follow you around and emulate you
'Cause you someone they cannot be
Like be able to think quickly and plan ahead in life and avoid drama
So I can look at the stars in the sky.
But being Larry the Coolest! since the moment I was born
And the nurses fought over who got wipe the shit off my baby ass,
And baby crap can be stinky like watery nasty adult diarrhea
Or just regular smelly dog or weasel crap by a river or a tall tree
When there's no chance in life to ever be like Larry the COOLEST!
It could make you wonder why
But, why wonder, why wonder?
I'm green and it'll do fine
Because I'm from Mars and you are from Uranus!!!