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Cortlandt Manor is a realtor's fiction in Cortlandt, the furthest northwest township in Westchester County, NY. In it you will find quaint old farmhouses, cul-de-sacs dotted with grossly gargantuan McMansions, sad old-age homes, pathetic retirement villages, and white-trashed trailer parks. Economically both better and worse off than Croton-on-Hudson (home to the nouveaux riches families and NASCAR dads), it is adjacent to the urban embarrassment known as "Peekskill." The township was so humiliated by the presence of African-Americans in its community that it petitioned the USPS to create a separate Zip Code (10567) that distinguishes it from its darker sister (Peekskill: 10566). In the center of the town, the so-called Cortlandt Town Center, stands a United Artists Multiplex flanked by a hair-do establishment and pizza joint (with not-too-shabby pizza). To experience the full range of its denizens, go to the adjacent Walmart at said Center and count the number of teeth ( = n) that you find in the mouths of the shoppers ( = S) on any checkout line. You will find that at any given time nS < 32. The town has no focus, no personality short of calling itself "The Gateway to the Hudson," which basically means that it's a sewer pipe. It is a hell for those who can't drive and a vicious purgatory for those who do. It contains a farm where you can watch the decapitation of your Thanksgiving turkey or the slaughter of your Easter lamb, a place coincidentally close to Walter Penis High School, one of the two centers for higher education in the area (the other being Hen Hud, whatever that supposed to mean--probably a reference to chickens). All in all, living in Cortlandt Manor is better than living in Putnam County.
1. I saw some bro's sharing a fatty near the Peekskill Projects as I was driving to the Modell's in Cortlandt Manor.
2. I wish my parents would move to that anus of a town, Croton-on-Hudson, since living in Cortlandt Manor is the equivalent to being 1.5 feet up the colon.
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It is a shitty place to live and has the worst stores ever and bad school districts and ppl try to act black
“Cortlandt manor sucks” 🤣
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a VERY small town in westchester county, new york, where you can go absolutely no where without a car. most of our residents want to move to the neighboring towns of croton, buchanen, montrose, and peekskill, but sadly, their parents will not move just because they want them to.
cortlandt manor is in the middle of the woods basically. it's the middle of no where, and they only way u end up here is by accident or if ur visiting here
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A small town in Northern Westchester, situated near the Hudson River and close to the Putnam County border. Inbreeding is common. The largest event this town has experienced was the opening of Wal-Mart. See also: bumblefuck.
I feel sorry for Sam. He's from Cortlandt Manor.
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Cortlandt Manor is indeed part of one of the wealthiest counties in the nation but yet somehow fails to find the money for its own police department. Also, the road in front of my house needs to be paved. :(
Come to think of it, if OJ had done it here in Cortlandt Manor, NY, they probably still wouldn't have found the body.
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A reasonably large town that manages to hold some of the wealthiest people in Westchester county but contributes nothing to society other then a small resteraunt that recently went out of business and a Town Center that's actually located in Mohegan Lake. The Town Center itself is nothing to be proud of because it mearly harbors the towns social and scholarly rejects who cannot find a better way to entertain themselves on any night of the week then hang out in front of Barnes and Noble and get messed up on whatever drugs they can find. Rich socialites who can't afford to live in Bronxville or Chappaqua move here thinking it will be a good place to raise their children. Obviously they are greatly mislead. This town is better defined as the Boondocks of upper westchester.
Man, I don't feel like driving to Cortlandt Manor. I really don't want to hit a deer or a deranged druggie.
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