Couldn’t be me.

Usually follows “Imagine ___.” Can be replaced by, “can’t relate.” A subtle way to make fun of something someone does. Can also be used to tell someone what you’re doing.

teacher: max, please move to the front row, away from your friends.
bella: imagine being moved to the front row, couldn’t be me.

//or//

bella, calling max: imagine being in school right now, couldn’t be me.

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couldn’t be me

essentially can’t relate

ellie : wow she’s so good at art!
carly : couldn’t be me, i suck at art

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Couldn’t be me

When an individual says something out of the ordinary, possibly erotic, homosexual, or suspect, and you choose not to identify with that individual by saying the phrase.

John: I ate her ass after she shat and didn’t wipe; I got some chocolate and ass last night
Me: What in the goddamn fuck? Couldn’t be me.

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