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Crotch Rocket Asshole

Crotch Rocket Asshole believes that they own the road (which is directly contrary to Mustang Asshole), and have the fastest bike on the planet. Crotch Rocket Asshole weaves in and out of traffic, ignoring every traffic law that every other citizen has to obey. Crotch Rocket Asshole often pops wheelies in the middle of the street, which (I guess) only impresses Crotch Rocket Asshole’s underage girlfriend.

Crotch Rocket asshole is easily identifiable. Besides the obvious bike identification, Crotch Rocket Asshole often wears a gay leather jacket and pants combo that color match their bike, and often has a gay rubber Mohawk attached on top of their helmet. In reality, Crotch Rocket Asshole would never have the balls to sport a REAL mohawk in a million years. Crappy, faded, tribal armband and/or barb wire tattoos often adorn Crotch Rocket Asshole’s arm.

Crotch Rocket Asshole often uses their bike as their Facebook or MySpace profile image, in the slim hopes that some desperate female will dig the bike, and ignore the downsides of Crotch Rocket Asshole (namely the fact that the bike is their only means of transportation).

One can only hope that Crotch Rocket Asshole gets the shit beat out of them by Harley Rider.

See Cigarette Asshole and Lottery Ticket asshole for other possible “asshole” personality combinations.

Stan: "Crotch Rocket Asshole passed me up on the road today doing 90 in a school zone while popping a wheelie"

Ted: "I bet you were driving in front of a high school, wern't you?"

Stan: "Yeah, how did you know THAT?"

Ted: "30-year old Crotch Rocket Asshole was showing off and scamming for babes."

by mad genius December 7, 2010

41👍 26👎