Dorset

/'də sɛt/

1. The poor man's Devon.

2. England's taint.

3. A county of south-central England; county town, Dorchester.

Traveller: Excuse me, which way to Dorset?

Local: Back the way you came, stranger.

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Dorset

A county in the south of England with practically nothing in it apart from fields, farms, tractors, hills, mansions, more fields, Bournemouth and high quantity baby making machines more commonly known as chavettes living off child benefits.
Really nice in the rural areas if you like your peace, quiet and tranquility.
Some really nice towns with decent culture, some towns are as dull as shit.

Don't come here if you don't like; the colour green, cows, sheep, a shit county council, terrible public transport or the semi-vacant smell of shit.

"Dorset is like constantly living near a sewage treatment centre"

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dorset cereal

The ultimate laxative of all cereals, even more so than weetabix
Results in a turd reminiscent of a never ending chocolate fountain

*knocks on bathroom door*
Colin: what's taking you so long?

Gareth: sorry, i had too much dorset cereal for breakfast yesterday and im like a chocolate fountain!

Colin: You fool

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dorset handshake

English slang term for a punch. Used mainly by farmers and/or people from the West Country.

"Some bloke down the pub got funny with me, so I gave him a Dorset handshake."

Poole (Dorset)

Poole is a town next to Bournemouth filled with children who think they are very big and scary. Also the Crackheads that roam the town centre barking at people. I sadly live in this shithole please get me out.

'Poole (Dorset) is really nice' 'I don't want to be friends with you after saying that'

Playing cricket for Dorset

An expression referring to teenagers engaging in a practice session in the grounds of the Broadstone Cricket Club after close of play.

“Are Kate and Len coming to the pub later?”
“No, they’re playing cricket for Dorset”

Dorset Elbow Suprise

A knee to the groin combined with an elbow to the chest of an enemy. The suprise refers to the victim's shock of recieving a sudden knee to the crotch when expecting a simple elbow attack. Preferably after the victim has received the Yeovil Poke.

"Hey! Do you want a Dorset Elbow Suprise to go with that Yeovil Poke?!"

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