David Bowie's Armadillo

A obscure sexual move popularized by repeated viewings of the 1986 film "Labyrinth". It entails dressing up as David Bowie's character Jareth, from the film, and attaching brown dildos (length must exceed 7 inches but be no longer than 13) to the articulatio radiocarpea of both arms. While penetrating both the anus and vagina, "Jareth" must sing "Magic Dance" with the receiving partner singing the goblins' parts. If available, cocaine (slime and snails or puppy dogs' tails are popular substitutes) should be snorted off the lower back of the receiver. This second act is, of course, referred to as a "Lady Stardust".

Nathan: Hey what'd you get Aniston for her birthday?

Aaron: Got her David Bowie's Armadillo and some Lady Stardust bro.

Nathan: Damn that's nasty as fuck my man!

Aaron: Stardust is a hell of a drug.

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