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actually, according to Jack Kerouac, in his novel, On The Road, Des Moines is home to the most beautiful women in the world. Plus it is straight up gangsta!
Yo, let's chill in the DMI (Des Moines) tonight, bitch!
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A city thats on one side strait hood, and on the other, strait fucked up with rich people...
West des moines citizen: Would you like to go to west des moines?
East des moines citizen: Fuck no nigga that side of town is PREP im goin back ta the E!
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A place that you move to because your girlfriend got a job there and you would go to the ends of the earth to follow her cause you are so whipped.
Jeff moved to Des Moines to be with his girlfriend, Sue, because he is a whipped little pussy.
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on the west side, you have rich high schools kids and parents with good jobs downtown, most of the rich kids like to go "clubbing" in "clubs" on the west side, otherwise they just drive around in thier jettas and mazdas that thier parents bought and they put window tint and walmart subs in. they are generally so bored that they sit around and call everyone they know trying to figure what to do.
south side: straight up gangsta. mostly made of black people, in low-income housing, and sometimes the occasional wigger that moves there to have fun i guess
east side: eh, no one goes to the east side, strange place
north side: eh, no one goes to the east side, strange place
west des moiner: "hey man, lets go chill downtown and catch some bitches, cuz the bitchez in west des moines are too uptight and bitchy to go out wit us. lets roll in yo jetta dog, blast the subs."
South sider: "shit nigga, that fucker was all up in the heezy and i shot his ass... da fuckin cops showzed up and i fauckin shot doz bitchez too."
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gutwrench and sorrow. the home of the world's fattest and ugliest people.
And that, Billy, is why the first word in Des Moines is pronounced Duh.
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The capital of the state of Iowa; pronounced "duh moyn" NOT "dez moyn-ez."
"Let's go to Dez Moinez"
"Huh?"
"Oh sorry. I mean, Des Moines."
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Background info on the areas;
Westside- mostly rich people, bitchiness awaits as you journey to the "westside" of dmi. The really nice mall, Jordan Creek is located there and around that area good luck crossing the street, cars don't stop for anyone. Also most of the country clubs are located there and many resturaunts, typically chain resturaunts. Red Robin, Mimi's Cafe, PF Changs, Bravo, Joes Crab Shack, etc.
Southside-History here goes way back! Mostly made up of Italian descent, you will find the best Italian food in DMI here, FYI. It's typically safe and quiet.
Eastside-The great Iowa State Fair is located here and it's basically the highlight of Eastersiders year, you can park in their yards and they keep the cash..typically $10 per car. Generally safe, but it sometimes gets a very bad stench because of the meat packing plants nearby.
Northside-Not too familar with the northside of DMI, except that they have an awesome haunted house in an old grocery store and Smokey D's is the BEST BBQ in town!
BTW WE AREN'T ALL FARMERS HERE!
Frankie: Man this fair has the best food!
Dino: Yeah, dude I know, thats Des Moines for ya!
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