Desk fat

A raging erection which occurs whilst sitting at a desk, often in a work situation after a scantily clad co-worker passes by, or occasionally on television panel programs where one of the hosts is sitting next to a rather fit lady who oozes sex. Given the public nature of this erection, the individual with the desk fat is unable to leave the safety of the desk for fear of being exposed as a deviant until the desk fat subsides

Lehmo was seated next to The Veronicas on this evening's edition of The Project, and given they project their sexuality in such an overt manner, Lehmo found himself with an enormous desk fat the moment the interview began

Desk-fat

The weight one gains by moving from a fast paced job to a sedentary position working in an office; brought on by indulging in delectable sweets and copious amounts of coffee out of boredom

Kenneth: Whoa Lindsey!! What the hell happened to you?!?
Lindsey: what do you mean?!?
Kenneth: Ever since they put you in your own office, you done gained all kinds of Desk-fat!