Diamond Rule

The Diamond Rule is a behavioural philosophy developed by Drew McPherson and is a key part of his Equilism project. It is similar to the Golden Rule but with a crucial difference which is designed to add diversity tolerance. The Diamond Rule instructs one to "Treat others as they wish to be treated". It is critically important to understand that not everyone wishes to be treated in the same way. This becomes more evident with life forms of greater diversity. Accepting diverse preferences, and not assuming that everyone will have the same preferences as yourself is a key cultural norm to instill in order to eliminate diversiphobia.

When you assumed that EllEn wanted to be treated the same as you, you were failing to follow the Diamond Rule which acknowledges that EllEn may have difference preferences than yourself.