Dirty All-American

A sexual act that can only happen within ten minutes of a bald eagle sighting. First, you grab one Kraft Singles cheese slice, slap it on your all-American meat, and put it in between her all-American buns. The guy must hold a beat box on his shoulder, blasting the Grammy award-winning classic “Born in the USA” by Bruce Springsteen, and hold an AR with the other hand. Bonus points if both parties are wearing Old Navy American flag tank tops.

To celebrate America's birthday, we went bald eagle watching and we ended up doing the Dirty All-American.