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A Dirty Matthew is when you give a girl the gift of a Dick In A Box adressed:
To: (Her)
From: God.
Matthew may mean "Gift of God" but God's real Gift is a Dirty Matthew.
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Getting on top of a tractor and fisting your ass so hard, that you penetrate yourself and give yourself a hemorrhoids.
I just a Dirty Matthew on my tractor.
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Similar to the houdini, however, just as you are about to bust your load, you pull out and hawk one on your girl's back. When she turns around to smile at you, you whip out your 1,000,000 candle power spotlight and yell "Roll Tide," which blinds and then confuses her. She hops up and stumbles around, running into things like a drunk Auburn chick. The kicker is, you're stuck with her Lexus payments the next morning.
Redneck #1: How'dya make out last season?
Cracker #1: I dun shot me a 10 point buck, how'dyu do?
Redneck #2: I dragged one out of the woods and put the old dirty matthew on her, now she's got me steppin and fetchin, I tell ya, I am WORE OUT!
Cracker #1: TCB, man, of all the muthafuckas, you are the muthafuckest!
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When you smell vagina before you start eating it out
Dirty Matthew Ashley smelt the vagina before rooting it
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