Dog Helmeting

Act of doping a dog up with muscle relaxants and laxatives, putting it on top of your shaved head, pulling down on the hind legs, and stretching out its rectum to fit on your head like a hat.

Dog Helmeting: Known among aficionados as Dög Hëlmüting

Step 1. Shave your head. If the dog is long haired, shave the dog's posterior and rectum area as well;

Step 2. Feed dog laxatives and/or muscle relaxants disguised as doggie "treats" so that the dog rectum will expand and dialate wider;

Step 3. Lube now shaven head (if laxatives were used in the previous step, excess feces may be used as well);

Step 4. Place dog on top of head, rectum covering top of head. Careful for the head may become submerged in the rectal cavity causing suffocation;

Step 5. Spin dog.
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