Dorito Crotch

The crystalline film that forms about the groin and genitals of a person who eats too many Nacho Flavoured Doritos. May be less pronounced in those who prefer "Cool Ranch" variety.

Dude: "Did you figure out what was causing the orange, greasy stains in your gonch?
Bro: "According to WebMD it's gotta be Dorito Crotch."
Dude: "Whoa!"
Bro: "Yeah, I think it will get better if I switch to Cool Ranch."
Dude: "Or get someone to lick it off"
highfives