Random
Source Code

Douche accessories

Usually an item worn, carried, or used by a douche. Ming these items are:
-popped polo shirt collars
-backwards hats* (usually with stickers still on them)
-Nike elite backpacks
-Nike socks and sandals
-usually some sort of bracelet or a puka shell necklace
Combine these along with cargo shorts, and you have created a "TurboDouche". TurboDouche will not only make YOU leave your girlfriend, he will also fuck her on your bed.

*hats must be spun 180 degrees in order to become douchey. Anything more or less is most likely a joke, or the person is a hip DJ.

Dan: "Holy shit, Rob. Is Steven wearing a polo with his collar popped?"
Rob: "yeah, along with those godawful Nike knee socks and a puka shell necklace. Give him a few weeks, and he'll spend his beer money on more of those douche accessories. After that, he'll become a TurboDouche."
Dan: "I'll have to fuck my girlfriend while I can!"

by andrew hoogelfloogel October 22, 2014

3👍 1👎


Tool box with matching power douche accessories

A tool box with matching power douche accessories is the most egregious form of tool. If a tool is a common douche-bag, and a tool box is where tons of tools go, then a tool box with matching power douche accessories is the apex predator of douches.

This person would be the megalodon of douche, the Elvis of douchebaggery, or the Mount Everest of douche. In the SCUBA diving world this person would be the Andrea Doria of douche. In rock climbing, this person would be the 5.15a of douche. In cycling, this person would be the Tour De Douche, except that he would have both testicles. In Kalifornia, this person would be the Nancy Pelosi of douche. In the hand gun world, this person would be the Desert Eagle of douche...a douche that is completely unlike other douches to an almost comical, unnecessary degree.

HISTORY OF THE PHRASE:

Cliffy, a Sergeant in my unit in 3rd Infantry Division, referred to our commander (he who shall not be named) as a tool box with matching power douche accessories one time. We all instantly recognized the gravity of the phrase. Like the Tarrasque in Dungeons and Dragons, there can typically only be one tool box with matching power douche accessories in the world at any given point. According to legend, the tool box with matching power douche accessories may take on an apprentice tool box, and upon his death the apprentice will then gain the douche prowess of the then deceased tool box with matching power douche accessories.

"Man, our boss is the worse example of douchebaggery that I have ever witnessed in all my years in the military. He is a tool box with matching power douche accessories."

-Cliffy

by CPT Ron April 30, 2013