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E. Cheapus rentucabrus
Distinguishing characteristics: invertebrate, deeply concave chest, extensive stretch marks, and crusty lazy eyes.
E. Cheapus rentucabrus takes pride in its ability to feed off its girlfriend to pay its mortgage.
It is also known to humble brag as frequently as possible and leave unanswered the calls of the dying.
What E. Cheapus Rentucabrus might say:
“Dude, my girlfriend pays rent and it goes straight towards my mortgage, dude.”