East Lansing Diploma Factory

1. AKA Michigan State University - an 'institution' of
'supposedly' higher learning (for monkees - and
arsonists, I guess).
2. Training ground for future failed middle managers
of dead-ended careers and lives (Super-size it !)
3. Biggest undergraduate rip-off around: herded into class
sizes of 1000+, dormitories akin to Auschwitz, T.A.'s
who don't even know the subject matter; one actually
comes out of this asylum a bigger idiot than upon first
arriving, if that's possible.

After a night of heavy partying on campus and before starting his new job as an assistant lawn cutter, Wally awoke only to find he had inadvertently used his recently received diploma from the East Lansing Diploma Factory as an ass wipe. 'That's okay', he consoled himself, 'besides I can always go into any one of the many bars they have here and look for the toilet paper dispensers in the mens room.' Specifically, Wally was referring to certain dispensers that have printed on them: 'Bachelors Degrees From This Institution. Please Take One.' Hell, take several ! Give them to your friends ! You can never have too many ass wipes at the Ol' ELDF !

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