Egyptian Massage

The name given to a massage for females concluding with a "happy ending."

"I thought I was going in for a Swedish massage, but it turns out it was an Egyptian massage. Now I am really relaxed and all I want to do is cuddle!"

"Hey Aimee, how was the massage?"
"It was great! I paid a bit extra and upgraded to the Egyptian massage and the last 10 minutes were worth every penny!"

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egyptian head massage

Screwing somebody in the eye so hard that their brain turns to mush.

Julius Caesar gave Cleopatra an Egyptian head massage, then turned to Brutus and said, "And you, Brutus?"

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egyptian head massage

Screwing someone in the nose so hard that their brain is reduced to mush. The name derives from the fact when ancient Egyptians were mummifying a corpse, they would remove the brain by sticking a poker up the nose, scrambling the brain, and yanking it out through the nose.

Caesar gave Cleopatra an Egyptian head massage, then looked and Brutus and asked, "And you, Brutus?"

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