Elder

eld·er
/ˈeldər/
adjective
(of one or more out of a group of related or otherwise associated people) of a greater age.

This was done by the elder Geoffroy St-Hilaire.

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Elder

ELDER = a missionary from the LDS (Mormon) Church who is YOUNGER than you are, unless you are a minor.

Two young men knocked on my door. Their names were Elder Young and Elder Berry. My daughter thought they were Foxy Mormons, but, since the Elders were Young, I thought they were OxyMorons.

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Elder

The 233rd Wordle solution.

"It took me 3 tries to solve wordle 233, it was elder."

Elder

A mindless, controlling drone of the Jehovah's Witness Watchtower Bible and Tract Society. Their function is to squelch independent thought, spy on those suspected of 'wrong doing', and assist the rank and file in making day-to-day menial decisions. They also keep track of the number of hours a member spends knocking on doors each month. Most have the educational level of a toilet brush salesman, but they follow orders well. They enjoy the times spent in judicial committee, where they are privy to confessions of sexual activity of hot young girls, providing fodder for masturbatory sessions at a later time.

Gina- "I have to go shopping for a new pair of shoes for service Saturday, but tomorrow is Black Friday and I don't know if it would be appropriate for a Christian sister to partake in such a worldly celebration. What do you think, Suzanne?"

Suzanne - "I think you should ask the Elders about that. You could ask Brother McDrooly, he is always so knowledgeable. But I would avoid Brother Peterphile, he popped a boner and actually came while I described giving a blowjob when I confessed during my judicial hearing last summer."

Gina - "Thanks, Suzanne. I am always praying thanks to Jehovah for the wonderful Elders we have here at the Kingdom Hall."

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the elder

A goatee style beard forming from the underside of the nutsack.

Me: hey man, my girlfriends complaining because i havent shaved my sack for a while. It's gettin intense.

Friend: Ah, got the elder eh?

Me: Yeah man she left me.

ELDER

an amazing person

ur boy is such an elder, he got my cat from up that tree when it got stuck

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Elderness

It's the act of being elderly: clumsy, non-technological yet curious and willing to help.

www.theelderness.com

Elderness: Giving an 'elder' you smart phone asking them to take a picture for you. It seems innocent enough until you turn the camera to (selfie mode) face them and press record. While they attempt to take a photo, they are being recorded the whole time. It's priceless.

Then notify them. 'Oh! It was being recorded the whole time! OOPS!!' This way they know it was all on video. Then show them how its done, so they won't be ELDERNESSED again!

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