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Emotional Minesweeper

Emotional Minesweeper is a situation in which you are unable to predict how a person will react to your actions or statements. In this situation, you may "step on an emotional landmine" and be blindsided by the person you're interacting with "blowing up" at you. It's so unexpected that they misinterpret your confusion for a lack of empathy, adding fuel to the fire.

To avoid putting someone in Emotional Minesweeper, evaluate whether or not they could have predicted that their words or actions would have hurt you. It's generally safer to ask if they have relevant context, and explain how you feel to them in a way they can understand. Generally, if people know how you feel and why you feel that way, they will do their best to be supportive and respectful. More often than not, people don't know they're doing anything wrong.

A popular synonym is "walking on eggshells."

"Hey are you doing ok?"
"I could be better. I've been playing Emotional Minesweeper with my mom all weekend, and it's taking a toll on me."
"That's not good. Does she even tell you what you did wrong?"
"She never tells me until after I make the mistake, and she always rages hard about it."
"Dude, you should probably talk to the school counselor. This sounds like abuse, and they may be able to give you resources to help you navigate the situation."
"You sound way too smart for a high-schooler."
"This isn't real, John. We're an example in an Urban Dictionary definition."

by Majestical Discomfort May 7, 2024