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A 3 square mile cesspool of idiocy just to the north of Boston, Everett has rapidly spiraled into best place to get in a machete fight in a parking lot. The only thing that rates in this balloon-knot of a city is Everett High School football and the steaknuts that participate in it. Every Saturday in the Fall, Everett Stadium fills to the brim with strung-out high schoolers, soon-to-be-pregnant cheerleaders, and middle-aged failures, who have never quite gotten over that time in '73 when they could have been state champions if coach had only put them in the game.
Everett is the best place to go if you want Dunkin' Donuts, a submarine sandwich or a funeral, because there is an outlet for each of those at least every 20 feet. There are other attractions in E-Town too: In the mood for a dirty, trashbag strip club attached to a motel? Head for King Arthurs! Want to drink an $8 Bud surrounded by styrofoam gargoyles from Spencer Gifts? The Crypt is your destination my friend. Are you kind of a dork and want to make one-stop to achieve badassness? You can get a gold chain, a tattoo AND a firearm at Ma-Zel's on Ferry St (convienently across the street from The Crypt).
Yes, Everett is magical place, where the heroin is cheap and the calzones are hot! Visit now before it's officially annexed by Brazil.
"Ya dude, I was at The Crypt last night in Everett, MA shooting up in the bathroom, and I was like fuckin' A, you know? And then I totally did this chick who was passed out next to the stage. Have you seen my machete?"
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A 3.7 sq. mile city located just outside of Boston, while notable for its successful high school football team and location in which Dennis Lehane novels like to house potentially murderous child molesters, it is actually just offers a less expensive place to live than nearby communities of Somerville and Charlestown due to its low-scoring (academically speaking) high school. It has retained more of the rough-edged Boston character portrayed in books and movies, even as the quickly gentrified neighborhoods to the south trade Dunks for Starbucks and have renovated away the original character of the towns to cram in another million dollar condo and organic hemp milk dispensary.
As the saying goes "If you can't afford Cambridge, move to Somerville. If you can't afford Somerville, go to Everett, MA. if you can't afford Everett, go to Chelsea, MA. Can't afford Chelsea? Worcester. Can't afford Worcester? Go F--- yourself."
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A neighborhood that is part of Boston, MA. Home of the sickest sports teams (can you say Crimson Tide?!) and drug scene galore. It's a pretty diverse area but is slowly being taken over by stereotypical NO ENGLISH Brazilians that everyone wants to kick. The cops suck and have nothing better to do but rag on kids who just wanna skate (RIP Everett Skate Park) instead of worrying about the hundred wife-beaters and rapes going on.
There's a few main places where everybody hangs out in one time or another. Glendale Park, slowly turning into a campus, after they blew out the sledding hill to build a monster of a school. Lots of stabbings and drug deals done here. I bet you've all spent at least an hour in Walgreen's parking lot too, across from Everett House and the 983572 nail salons. Tina's will screw you over, FYI.
You'll find that most of the guys are either hardcore skaters or thugs. Or maybe skate rats and wiggers, you'll find those too. Lots of them. As for girls, you'll see all the muffin top Brazis and the orange tanned chicas with their Sidekicks in one hand and ice coffee with nineteen sugars in the other. A fraction of both genders are decent people, a pretty good amount of artistic talent around here, but not much. Lots of people from Malden and Revere come here. We're all sort of a little community, in a way.
You got food, drugs, lots of STDs, and hardly a shred of American-speaking citizens left here. Enjoy it while you can.
Alex Filho's kind of a celebrity here too. Another Skater Brazi.
"You wanna get trashed man? Get loaded up on weed and X and eight types of AIDs all the same night?!"
"Yeah man! Let's go to Everett, MA!"
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A 3 square mile city right outside of boston bordering Charlestown,Medford,Chelsea,Malden,and Revere.All the White kids hang together there like a big community when they all get together they dont take no shit and they love to drink and fight.The blacks you can find at alot of basketball courts ballin up and goin to the rec afta school thats probly why the rec stinks like shit.The spanish live with about 8 in a room haha and not one of them owns a car because not one of them has there green card and if u get a green card doesnt mean your a american get that straight.The brazilians evrybody hates them they all wear jeans that run up there ass with all holes and them and shit and all spike there hair with 10 pounds of hair gel and walk around like there the shit and tough but not one of them can fight for there life.Everett massachusetts is great to get dunkin donuts and go to hair salons because there everywhere.We love friday night highschool games fightin with the otha teams fans afta the game.Mens softball league pundin beers in Glendale across from the police station.Everett has the best sports in massachusetts no doubt about it kid cant beat us.Everett mass (dirty E) motha fuckas
I went to Everett,Ma messing around with soem white kid that was only with 3 of his boys and they made a phone call and about 50 came down within 5 mins between the ages of 14-22 there crazy they kick some ass
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A 3 square mile city right outside of boston bordering charlestown,medford,chelsea,malden,and revere.The whites all hang together there like a big community when they all get together they love drinkin and fightin and partyin pretty much.The blacks you can find at alot of basketball courts playin basketball and the rec afta school thats why the rec smells like shit.The spanish live with about 8 people in a room and not 1 has a car they all drive bikes because they cant get a license because they have no green card.Everyone hates the brazilians they suck most of them are gay legit not 1 of them can fight there way out of a wet paper bag.Glendale park mens softball game nights pundin beers across from the police station.Friday night high school games startin fights with the otha teams fans.Everett is the best place if you want to find a dunkin donuts and nail salons.Theres alot of corner stores.Drugs on every street.Alot of stabbings overdoses and some shootings murders happen here but it doesnt get out there/news because Everett politics cover it up.Everett has the best sports in mass.
Everett Mass motha fuckas (Dirty E)
I went to Everett ma and was fuckin around with the little white kids and they made 1 phone call and about 50 turned the corner comen down in cars walkin and runnin they kick some ass mothas fuckas are crazy
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A place where Racism, Transphobia, and SA. People here have charred broccoli for their lungs due to the many vaping kids hiding from the deans and hall monitors. Everyone here fucking sucks and basically are either gifted or in 10 years will end up pregnant with a dead-end job with a deciding hairline by the time their 30s. Every group has that one racist white dude in their friend group. Not everyone is awful there are some good kids. People here have personal fashion that is interesting in their own right.
Also one of our Deans is a pervert.
"The Difference between Everett Ma Highschool and Hell is that Hell punishes people who commit crimes while Everret Ma Highschool do not."