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A sharp pointy object located at the end of a finger. (In some cases, there have been reports of the stated object appearing at the end of toes. However, this statement cannot be confirmed as there is currently no proof of the named existence.) Often very sharp, the above substance can be used as a weapon. (Said cases HAVE been reported.) If you find yourself growing these strange objects, please note that yearly trimming should be practiced for your own safety, lest you dig them into your own flesh by mistake. Usually, pain follows. However, this cannot be confirmed either, as no real cases have been reported of this strange action.
Security Guard: "I'm sorry, young lady, but I'm afraid you cannot board the plane. Please remove those uncontrollable weapons from your hands immediately before boarding."
72👍 14👎
The number one cause of vaginal tearing resulting in bad days for both women and men.
My cooter hurts; I thought I told you to trim the fingernail on your poker finger.
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Flat bed of the crap your hair was made out of, put on your fingers for you to bite off.
Nathan:"Man I'm really nervous about the test tomorrow.."
Bree:"Oh dang, you should get some fingernails."
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Violinists and players of other string instruments must keep their fingernails extremely short in order to play well. It is commonly referred to as "Violin/Violinist Fingernails"
Whoa, those are some serious violin fingernails!
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One fingernail, usually the pinky, allowed to grow long and used to snort cocaine out of.
You can tell he hasn't cleaned up, he's still got a cocaine fingernail.
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Good utensil for use on the fingernail.
Also good for stabbing.
Used the fingernail file to stab the jail guard in the left testicle.
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Risky game of chance, typically played by the lower classes or students, where a much-needed visit to the toilet is followed by the depressing realisation that there is a very limited amount of toilet paper at the user´s disposal.
Guy 1: "Last night, Mandy invited me round for a free manicure as part of her beautician´s course."
Guy 2: "Wow, she is so hot. How did it go?"
Guy 1: "Pretty well until it became abundantly clear that I play the Fingernail Lottery every week."
"Such was my urgent need, I locked the toilet door in great haste, lowered my britches and dropped some friends off at the pool. Only then did I note the dire lack of toilet tissue. My heart sank in the sad knowledge that I would have to play the Fingernail Lottery."
Hard Times, Charles Dickens