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Back the fuck away from the van.
Mysterious man in the van: " Hey kid, want some free candy?"
Kid: *Backs the fuck away from the van*
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A hard hit in hockey by Pittsburgh Penguins defenseman Brooks Orpik.
Brooks Orpik was giving out some free candy left and right.
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(n.) The most likly bait a pedo will use. Most likely obtained from the end of a white van with no windows, white, and has "Free Candy, Totally Legit" written in brown, red or black paint. Found in parks, playgrounds, schools, and sometimes disguised as a Ice Cream Truck, but instead serves free candy and molestation.
Mom: "what did you do in School today son?"
Billy: " i got Free Candy!"
Mom: "WHAT!?"
Billy: "yea it came with the tight pants and shirt. He took a picture of me as well!"
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Candy given away, often by really nice people in beat-up vans.
Occasionally refers to candy found in dumpsters, toilets, yards, or other sanitary sources.
On my 54th birthday, a man driving a Rainbow 1978 Ford Pinto with the words "free candy" scratched in the side invited me in for some free candy. I jumped up and down giddily and accepted the offer.
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It's a reference to "a running joke at The Pensblog is that they think that Brooks Orpik looks like a child molester and they call him the candy man and throw his picture up inside of a van with 'free candy' on the side. Don't get it twisted.
That Brooks Orpik looks like a pedophile. He likes little kids units and hands out free candy as he asks them to come into his basement. He's also slow as a snail.
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A run-down shady looking vehicle that looks like something a rapist or child molester would drive.
Joe should get the blood stains washed out of his car, right now it looks like a free candy van.
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A free candy van most of the times has bad stuff in it and is 10x bad for you can might kidnap children.
Timmy: Look dad, free candy!
Dad: Timmy that’s bad for you!
Timmy: So?
Dad: They might get you!
Timmy: NOO!
Free candy van
FRE-CANN-DY-VANN
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