Festi Bat

A Festi Bat is when a male partakes in the activity of masturbation during a music festival. Festivals are usually longer than one day although not necessarily so, as Festi Bats have been known to occur at one day festivals such as Stereosonic and Parklife.

Usually undertaken in the extreme heat of the middle of the day, the festi bat is a method of not only achieving a great deal of relief but also killing time until the point at which it becomes acceptable to once again recommence the alcohol and substance abuse that also occurred the previous day(s). Hence the Festi Bat is a valuable and multifaceted music festival tool.

The festi bat is a risky activity due to the fact that it takes place in close proximity to other festivalgoers, usually separated by only a thin piece of nylon, and would bring a great deal of embarrassment to the batsmen should he be caught or heard.

(NB: The Festi Bat is generally frowned upon by female festivalgoers and may decrease the chance of picking up that evening.)

Guy 1: Just had a festi bat, best decision I've ever made.

Guy 2: That is such a good idea, i'm going to go and have a festi bat now. Hopefully by the time I'm done we can start drinking alcohol again.

20👍 7👎