Fig Newton

Replacement term for the F word referring to homosexuals, does not sting as much when used negatively.

"Quit being a fig newton, I'm trying to watch the stream"

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Fig Newton

The most godly food in the universe. The greatest cookie thinger ever. It contains the jam of figs and is covered by a chewy cake bread.

Kevin, eat this fig newton because you are stupid.

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Fig Newton

A nice way to say faggot with out disrespecting somebody.

Dude you're such a Fig Newton!

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fig newton

as defined by Stewie Griffin "It's like an orgy in my mouth"

I ate a fig newton and it was like an orgy in my mouth.

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Fig Newtons

The pathetic substitute for real cookies like oreos or chips ahoy. Often bought by overprotective, health-conscious mothers.

-Hey little Johnny, do you want dessert?

-Ya mom! What's there to eat?

-Fig Newtons

-Fig Newtons? Fuck you, mom.

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fig newton

the most addicting cookie ever on the planet earth

I just ate a whole bag of fig newtons

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Fig Newton

A mediocre guy either in looks, personality, or both. And although he is average in every way, he thinks he is basically Ryan Reynolds.
While they may stay fig newtons forever it is possible for them to transform into something…like an Oreo…..or even a chocolate chip cookie.
While they are rare, fig newtons can also be female.

Examples: Jeff and Lester from the TV show Chuck
Dwight from the office.

Frollo from Hunchback of Norte Dame
Farquad from Shrek
Prince Charming from Shrek 2
Hans from Frozen
J’son (Starlord’s ‘Dad’) from Guardians of the Galaxy 2
Mr. Collins from Pride and Prejudice (honorable mention Mr. Wickham)

Yeah, we talked a bit. But, he was a bit of a fig Newton so I’m not interested.

Oh, nah! He a fig newton.

He got that fig newton haircut.

He talks like a fig newton.

He was the figgiest of newtons.