First Night

noun, misnomer: A national family oriented celebration beginning on New Year's Eve (Last night of the old year.) and ending by 12:30 am New Year's Day (First morning of the new year.), in cities and towns across the US. Created by social conservatives as a drug free, alcohol free and sex free alternative to human pleasure.

normal person: Excuse me sir, can you assist me?

First Nighter: Certainly. What do you need?

normal person: I need five hits of ecstasy, two Asian hookers, and a bottle of Champagne.

First Nighter: This is a family event. Check your liberal coat at the door.

normal person: I apologize for interrupting your NAMBLA rally. My bad.

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First Night Gangsterism

First heard on MTV's "World of Jenks". Term created by the rapper Maino. It goes something like this: You meet a girl for the first time. Take her back to her home or hotel and “give her the penetration of life”

Man 1: I'm taking you out on the town tonight for the first time. I wanna see some First Night Gangsterism.

Man 2: What?

Man 1: You gotta meet a girl for the first time. Take her back to her home or hotel and give her the penetration of life.

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First Night Fever

When you are away from home on a multi day piss trip and it's been ages since you have caught up for good session on the nozzle. You go that hard that a 6 can beer bong is a breeze and you think that it's a great idea to follow it up by drinking rum out of a shoe as a chaser wearing underwear on your head. Next minute you are blind drunk, lost, naked, shit yourself and kicking down a door of the girls dorm on Fraser Island waving your dick around whilst the park ranger is searching for you.

Damn I'm hungover, we were only going to have two beers... fucken first night fever.

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