Francis Fur

When cousins are all at the beach surfing, and one has a totally hairy chest while the others are all baby-seal-slick, that hairy cousin has Francis Fur.

Francis Fur grows like a genetic mutation, and can not be easily shaved. Razors clog and break so tree trimmers are needed. Francis Fur creates enough static electricity on a dry winter day to power a house for a week.

Francis Fur has a Velcro effect and must be covered by a cotton shirt, preferably one with a 4 leaf Irish clover logo on it, in order to prevent static cling to any item.

During a family get together, Uncle Kurt told everyone a surfing story:

“Wow, when cousin Steve, went surfing with cousin Damon, they were riding a wave and really carving the tube. All of a sudden, both boards got magically stuck in the water and they both flew off into the rotor.”

“When they cam up, both boards were stuck to cousin Fran, who had been body surfing in the path. Apparently, his Francis Fur velcroed the boards because he didn’t have his t-shirt on.”

“Luckily, neither Steve nor Damon were injured when the boards were ripped out from under them.”