Fred Poeser

Fred Poeser is a strict taker of the phones. A round fella for sure but all and all lovable. If you come across a Fred Poeser don't let him see your phone, he WILL take it away. He is a lover of guppies and keeps pigeons in his attic. He is a flannel enthusiast and will occasionally say hello. He has beautiful silver locks which he will let down on the special day. If he walks by it will smell like fish or guppy feed, so hold your nose.
If you shoot a Fred Poeser then a bird will fly out of the bullet hole so don't shoot him.

Person 1: Hey is that Fred Poeser?
Person 2: Dawg put your phone away
Person 1: Oh dear god! What's that fish smell?
Person 2: Dude, it's Poeser, he flushed his guppy down the toilet.
Person 3: But which one?

Poeser (suddenly behind them) : All of them! And now give me all your phones!