Freeze cleaning

Freeze cleaning is an ancient form of cleaning brought forth by the Mayans, who learned it from Martian taskmasters.

The Martians, who had advanced technology, used freeze cleaning to dust peripheral computer equipment and also their clothing. Due to the unique fibres which composed their clothing articles, freeze cleaning was the only viable method to clean their clothes without damage.

Spanish conquistadors learned of this technique while decimating the Mayan population, and banished it due to its "unholy" qualities.

Before the freeze cleaning hut was destroyed, a few rogue cleaning elders transcribed the process onto cave walls. This was discovered in the 20th century by explorer Huron Livingston, who advocated for its use on a wide scale.

Unfortunately, companies such as Tide and All paid up to the right congresspeople to block the patent. Freeze cleaning remains largely a myth, but those who employ its use are generally exalted as wise sages of human beings.

"I freeze cleaned my keyboard to remove the dust."

"I freeze cleaned my jeans."

"Freeze cleaning is a great method for removing dust."