French Stomper

A measure taken to avoid the reversal of chronological personal hygiene steps, primarily practiced by the French.

(The act of shitting in the shower and using one's foot to stomp it down the drain.)

In the absence of a bidet, a person must carefully order one's shitting and showering - primarily in the morning. Post fecal evacuation, the shower serves as the necessary rinsing function to remove dingle berries and other such residue. Should the evacuation procedure fall short of success and said status be identified during the showering phase of hygiene prep, one may choose to abort the phase and reclaim the porcelain thrown - thus repeating phase one (technically phase two).

In loo of reinitiating a previous step, one may opt for the innovative practice of defecating erectly over the drain, using a foot to drive the waste throw the initial catch intended for hairs.

Dan neglects his morning coffee and finds mid-shower that a stroke of constipation prevented him from completing his morning dump. To avoid splashing water everywhere and making a general mess of the bathroom, he utilizes the French Stomper. Shit gone, ass clean, and crisis averted, he proceeds to go about his day - head held high.

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