Fretboard Diarrhea Syndrome

Fretboard Diarrhea Syndrome (FDS) afflicts thousands of guitar players. This condition causes the guitarist to play way too many notes and play them way too fast. This style of playing in no way serves the melody, the song, or the singer...it only lets the guitarist show off and gives him a chance to bob his head like a rock star. This unnecessary and distracting barrage of notes is often delivered at way too high a volume also, further diminishing the value of the playing.

There seems to be no cure for FDS.

"That new guitar player in the band? He has a severe case of Fretboard Diarrhea Syndrome...he, and now that band, is unlistenable!"