Friend Leech

A "friend" who systematically tries to become friends with all you're friends by injecting themselves into your conversations, messaging your friends online or by generally licking your friends' asses. Ultimately, the leech will aggressively force itself upon one of your friends. This will result in your friend spending less time with you due to the leech sapping your friend's time, energy and even money.

There are some people who are naturally more resistant to the ill-effects of these leeches, such as unpopular people; however, the quickest and most effective way to prevent leeching will always be by immediate identification and outcasting. If you're a current victim of a friend leech, do not panic - there might still be time. Follow this one step:

1. Turn your friends off to the leech by telling them how annoying or undesirable of a person the leech is. It is important to provide good life experiences or lies for this step. This may immunize your friends from the leech's advances.

Q: But what if my friend is already in the process of being leeched or the immunization doesn't work?

A: Ask your friend what they think about the leech and try to encourage them to acknowledge annoying things the leech does (You may need to provide an example). Once you've found something the leech does that annoys your friend, irritate the situation further by getting the leech to do those things and then make fun of the leech with your friend either behind the leech's back or in its face.

1. Before I met Amanda (Friend Leech), I remember how I used to have friends. Now all I have are Internet logs, photographs and memories.

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