Full Body Smegma

An unfortunately common skin condition possessed by friends or roommates who, despite all their efforts of cleaning (if any), always smell fucking horrible. Their bedsheets are worryingly discolored yellow as a result of their nasty, cheese covered skin constantly being in contact with it, which in turn creates a reluctance for you to touch them. Like a boisterous drunk, a person suffering from Full Body Smegma makes their presence instantly known, but rather than being obnoxiously rude and loud, they bring a stench so gut punching that if you tried to breathe through your mouth to avoid the stench, you'd probably throw up instead.

Guy 1: "Dude, my roommate always smells like ass, he's nasty."
Guy 2: "If his skin's kinda greasy he probably has Full Body Smegma."
Guy 1: "You mean he has dick cheese all over his body?"
Guy 2: "Yeah, pretty much."