G G allin

G G Allin (born Jesus Christ Allin - seriously! I can't make that kinda shit up!) is a legendary punk rocker who died before he got famous but lived after he got infamous. G G who played the most with the backing band the Scumfuc's, performed shows that made the original Sex Pistols look like a fucking Captain and Tenneil concert. His concerts can be considered the last true expression of rock & roll as a form of complete and total rebellion, because he left pretty much nothing out of his performances other than murder or suicide (which he promised on stage but never delivered due to dying a couple months before the proposed 'suicide show'.

His shows, which rarely lasted longer than a few songs, were punctuated by the absolute worst behavior possible. A short list of antics performed by Allin include taking laxatives before concerts, shitting on stage and throwing it into the crowd and/or himself, eating his own feces on stage, forcing himself to vomit, stripping completely naked bending over and shoving the microphone up his ass and then punching himself in the gut, and on one occasion clenching the mic, wrapping the mic cord around his fist and bashing his own front teeth out with the microphone (he could only really do that stunt once, after all)

Seriously, I can't make this kinda stuff up.

Amazingly, women still found him attractive and he constantly got laid. He has a song about how bad his dick hurt after fucking a woman he knew had VD because he "just fuckin' had ta get a fuck". His longest jail sentence came from abuse charges brought by a fat chick who told him she wanted to go home with him and have him dominate her. The specifics of the case centered around G G fucking the chick until she passed out and then waking her up by fucking her in her ass and then burning her in the arm with a cigarette. His only comment at the trial was "I guess she wasn't as into it as i was."

He died in 1993. He overdosed, if ya can believe it. He was what's great with America. This is my essay.

Dude 1: Goddamn it, i'm gonna fuck this town up like i was G G Allin tonight.

Dude 2 - I'll get the lube and some bail money

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