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A beach on the Lake Michigan shores of Ottawa County, Michigan. A highly overrated litter box that sees about a couple thousand mindless sheep per day during the summer months. Mainly retarded teenagers and college students; everyone goes there for the sole purpose of drinking till they wet themselves. Packs of choch monsters comb the beach looking for the most clueless whore they can attempt to gang rape. The shit soup water is mildly radioactive and makes a slap in the dick sound more appealing than getting in. Fortunately, natural selection picks-off a few of the brain damaged neanderthals that jump off the pier each year.
Bro one: "Let's go to Grand Haven today!"
Bro two: "Hell yeah, I could use some hepatitis!"
Clueless idiot: "Man my dick has been itching ever since I went to Grand Haven."
Not a clueless idiot: "Did you get in the water?"
Clueless idiot: "Yeah, why?"
Not a clueless idiot: "You're going to die."
Dumb twat: "I met this group of guys at the beach the other day and I've been talking to this one on the phone a lot and he wants me to hangout, but all his friends are going to be there too."
Dumb twat's friend: "Bring extra lube."
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1) A small beachtown located in the real OC, Ottawa County. John McCain can be seen eating Pronto Pups here. Anthony Kiedis has been glimpsed at the Kirby House.
2) A small West Michigan city full of white, middle class, Christian Reformed people who often do nothing else than contract skin cancer at the beach.
3) Quite possibly the site of the most MIP's ever handed out.
1) Grand Haven: We own it, you just visit.
2) Someone from Grand Haven: "Evolution is fake. Jesus is my homeboy. Everyone else who is alive is a faggot and deserves to burn in Hell with Satan."
3) Grand Haven is building a huge-ass courthouse for all those wily teens.
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where u find all the dumb vactioners that don't know how to drive
look there is another vactioner going the wrong way on a one way street
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(1.) The most beautiful town on earth. Tourists swarm here in the summer to admire this place. (2.) The best place along the shores of Lake Michigan (3.) The number one place to watch a sunset.
(1.) "Man, did you see that picture of all those tourists on the beach?"
"Yeah, must be a pic of Grand Haven."
(2.) "So I travelled to Milwaukee last week. It was nothing compared to Grand Haven."
(3.) I looked out and saw all of the colors of the rainbow on the sunset, and I remembered how great Grand Haven is.
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Where your known as either a loner or a popular kid. The only good part is jumpin java downtown dogs and rit.
You listen to hardcore bands? what are you a loner? Thats grand haven for you
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A beach town in west Michigan full of a bunch of wanna be gangster pussies that smoke pot to think they're cool.
Hey whats up man im white but im more gangster than anyone anywhere" "dude you live in Grand Haven, shut up fag
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a place where most white kids will act black, a term known as wigger.
look at that wigger, he must be from grand haven.
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